| | Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 |  |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Tue Dec 13, 2016 8:10 pm | |
| A young woman married and had 8 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked.
Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply." In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs." ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure.  |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:09 am | |
| Like it.  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.  |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Fri Dec 16, 2016 6:06 pm | |
| It's an old Joke now - I posted it 2 days ago ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Fri Dec 16, 2016 7:25 pm | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- It's an old Joke now - I posted it 2 days ago
I have been to bed since then. ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Fri Dec 16, 2016 8:03 pm | |
| So have I - but I am bright and chirpy. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 3:36 am | |
| Bright and Chirpy, good for you I wish I were.  |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 10:05 am | |
| Every morning when I wake up and find that I am still breathing sets me up all bright and chirpy. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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D4\/!d
Member
Posts : 87
Join date : 2016-12-04
Location : Sarf West London
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 12:38 pm | |
| Years ago in the office we used to get a go round that listed the moves and transfers of all staff.
At the end was the obituary. And we all looked there to see if our name was listed, hoping it was and we could go to the pub.
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Caesar adsum jam forte. Brutus aderat. Caesar sic in omnibus. Brutus sic inat
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:15 pm | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- Every morning when I wake up and find that I am still breathing sets me up all bright and chirpy.
I always consider that it's a bonus when I discover that I have woken up again  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 4:41 pm | |
| Is that in the afternoon? ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 5:33 pm | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- Is that in the afternoon?
Usually between 7 am and 7-30 am. ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:16 pm | |
| Its a good job you don't wake up at 6.00 am then - you might find that you are dead ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sun Dec 18, 2016 8:41 am | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- Its a good job you don't wake up at 6.00 am then - you might find that you are dead
I sometimes do, but I roll over and go back to sleep. ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:13 am | |
| How come you "sometimes" wake up dead and then go back to sleep. I'm confused. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16 Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:51 am | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- How come you "sometimes" wake up dead and then go back to sleep. I'm confused.
Because I'm clever ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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