Little Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his Mother asked.
"Well, no, Mom, but, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
A Preacher said to little Johnny, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
Johnny replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
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