and all the preparation:
On the 17th day before xmas my true love said to me
Where is the duck it will need a pluck and I’ll need a feather
To tickle my old fella – only eight more!!!!!!!!!! Days
Seven if ya Kevin; six if ya Trix; Five if ya Clive; four gentle farts
Three quick pees; two with you know who ; and a fairy up a fake tree!
On the 18
th day before xmas my true love said to me
Where is the xmas tree and all the sparkling lights
And we need a fairy to brighten up our lives at night
Only seven more days!!!!!!!!!!!!
Six if ya trix; five if ya clive ;four gentle farts; three quick pees; two with you know who; and a partridge in a fake tree!!!
On the 19
th day before xmas my true love said to me
Where is the tipple for me to wet my whistle
And we need some mistletoe to make the vicars dangle grow
Only six more days!!!!!!!!!
Five I think I’ve got the hives; fourrrrrrrr! Gentle farts; three quick pees; two with you know who and
I’ve tried the mistletoe with you know who!!!!!!!
On the 20
th day before xmas my true love said to me
I think we’re running out of time; we need more rosemary and thyme
And hic this port doeth turn me blind
Only five more days!!!!!!!!!!!!
Four gentle farts; three quick pees; two with you know who and
And the vicar says he owes me two!
On the 21
st day before xmas my true love said to me
Hic; hic and triple hic NO I’m not getting pissed
Just hangin from the tree!
Only four more days whee whee !
Three gentle farts; two quick pees; one if you can make them last?
And the gifts are all half wrapped?????
On the 22
nd day before Xmas my true love said to me
Have you checked the ‘lights’ doth work? No more fires
Like we had last year! Pass me the port again!
Only three more days
Two gentle farts; one quick pee ; God I ‘ve gone and missed the pan
And a partridge in a pear tree??
Home 
