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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:23 am | |
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In the Yorkshire Post following the death of his wife. The couple had been happily married for 50 years.
The husband contacted the newspaper regarding an obituary. When informed of the cost, the man uttered, in true Yorkshire fashion, “How Much? !!!”
He reluctantly produced his wallet. “I want summat simple” he explained, “my Gladys was a good-hearted and hard-working Yorkshire lass but she wunt ave wanted owt swanky.”
“Perhaps a small poem”, suggested the woman at the desk.
“Nay”, he said, “she wunt ave wanted anything la-di-da, just put; ‘Gladys Braithwaite died’”.
“You need to say when”, he was told by the receptionist.
“Do I? Well, put died 17th March 2015. That'll do”.
“It is usual for the bereaved to add some meaningful phrase about the dearly departed”.
The man considered for a moment. “Well, put in, ‘Sadly missed’. That'll do”, he said.
“You can have another four words”, the woman explained.
“No, no”, he cried, “she wouldn' ave wanted me to splash out”.
“The words are included in the price”, the woman informed him.
“Are they? You mean I've paid for 'em?”.
“Yes, indeed”.
“Well, if I've paid for 'em , I'm 'avin them”.
The obituary was duly printed as follows:
Gladys Braithwaite died, 17th March 2015. Sadly missed. Also Tractor for sale.
----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.  |
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Hetty
Member
Posts : 2127
Join date : 2016-12-04
Location : North west England.
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:39 am | |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:58 am | |
| Does that sound about right Hetty for round your way?  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 10:57 am | |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 1:39 pm | |
| It's £4.50 to you ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 1:50 pm | |
| Thanks a bunch. Do you need my address to post it to me. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure.  |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 2:33 pm | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- Thanks a bunch. Do you need my address to post it to me.
If I knew your address I would call round and break your windows.  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 3:05 pm | |
| Bloody vandal - I'll have you know we don't allow such behaviour in Solihull. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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Hetty
Member
Posts : 2127
Join date : 2016-12-04
Location : North west England.
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:19 pm | |
| ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 4:30 pm | |
| You are always dropping something - a clanger is small beer for you.
You must forgive him Hetty - he's becoming a poor old groaning codger ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 5:04 pm | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- You are always dropping something - a clanger is small beer for you.
You must forgive him Hetty - he's becoming a poor old groaning codger I much prefer a large beer.  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Thu Dec 08, 2016 8:25 pm | |
| And you have a paunch to prove it no doubt ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Yorkshire obituary Fri Dec 09, 2016 9:12 am | |
| - AlanHo wrote:
- And you have a paunch to prove it no doubt
TRUE ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived. |
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