AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
 | | Subject: Today's Daft Joke - 31/07/17 Mon Jul 31, 2017 7:30 pm | |
| "Hello, and thank you for calling the mental health hotline. To enable us to direct your call to the appropriate helper, please choose one of the following options on your keypad :-
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will transferred to the mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until someone comes on the line.
If you are dyslexic, press 6969696969.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic-stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you." ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure.  |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 31/07/17 Tue Aug 01, 2017 1:04 am | |
| Alan I pressed the 6969696969. and nothing happened . Mind you it could have been 969696 etc., I can't remember at the moment. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 31/07/17 Tue Aug 01, 2017 5:57 am | |
| - Gandalph wrote:
- Alan I pressed the 6969696969. and nothing happened . Mind you it could have been 969696 etc., I can't remember at the moment.
You should have pressed 7 ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 31/07/17 | |
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