Todays Daft Joke 13.12.16

A young woman married and had 8 children. Her husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally croaked.

Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply." In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."

Leaning over to his neighbor, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"

The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."

Like it.

It's an old Joke now - I posted it 2 days ago

AlanHo wrote:

It's an old Joke now - I posted it 2 days ago

I have been to bed since then.

So have I - but I am bright and chirpy.

Bright and Chirpy, good for you I wish I were. 

Every morning when I wake up and find that I am still breathing sets me up all bright and chirpy.

Years ago in the office we used to get a go round that listed the moves and transfers of all staff.
At the end was the obituary. And we all looked there to see if our name was listed, hoping it was and we could go to the pub.

AlanHo wrote:

Every morning when I wake up and find that I am still breathing sets me up all bright and chirpy.

I always consider that it's a bonus when I discover that I have woken up again 

Is that in the afternoon?

AlanHo wrote:

Is that in the afternoon?

Usually between 7 am and 7-30 am.

Its a good job you don't wake up at 6.00 am then - you might find that you are dead

AlanHo wrote:

Its a good job you don't wake up at 6.00 am then - you might find that you are dead

I sometimes do, but I roll over and go back to sleep.

How come you "sometimes" wake up dead and then go back to sleep. I'm confused.

AlanHo wrote:

How come you "sometimes" wake up dead and then go back to sleep. I'm confused.

Because I'm clever