THE SENIOR BANKERS ADOPTION PROGRAM
NEEDS YOU!
The UK banking Industry is now having to import increasing numbers of cheap foreign bankers because British bankers are finding it difficult to manage on the level of wages paid to senior staff - now is the time for us to show the Country how much we care. It's just not right. Hundreds of English bankers in our very own country are living at or just below the seven-figure salary level with miserly annual bonuses of well under £5 million! This is an atrocious situation.
BUT NOW YOU CAN HELP!
For about two thousand pounds a day – which is less than the cost of a large screen projection TV, VCR plus home cinema or small second-hand car - you can help a banker remain economically viable during his time of need.
Two thousand pounds a day may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to a banker it could mean the difference between a vacation spent golfing in Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, two thousand pounds is nothing more than a few months rent or mortgage payments. But to a banker, two thousand pounds a day will almost replace his salary.
Your commitment of two thousand pounds a day will enable a banker to buy that home entertainment centre, trade in the year-old Porsche for a new Ferrari, pay for an annual subscription to a pole dancing club, enjoy a weekend in Rio, get extra cocaine and have enough change for a booze and drugs binge or have an affair with a fellow banker’s wife.
"HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?"
Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the banker you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. You'll also get information on how he plans to invest the tax free lump sums he will receive from his annual bonus and other activities upon retirement. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive a photo of the banker (unsigned).
Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.
"HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING"
Your banker will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator just in case additional funds are needed for unexpected expenses.
Simply fill out the form below.
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___YES, I want to help!
I would like to sponsor a senior banker. My preference is checked below:
[ ] Investment specialist
[ ] Isle of Man or Channel Isles tax free resident
[ ] I'll sponsor a banker most in need. Please select one for me.
Please call our 0800 number to ask for the cost if you wish to sponsor a whole banking team.
Please charge the account listed below £ 2,000 per day until further notice. Please send me a picture of the banker I have sponsored, along with his bank logo and my very own Bankers Support Group badge to wear proudly on my lapel.
[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Diner's Club
Your Name: ………………………………………………
Telephone Number: …………………………………….
Account Number: ………………………………..Expiry Date: …………………
Signature: …………………………………………
(Children under 18 must have parental approval)
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