AlanHo V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798 Join date : 2016-10-16 Age : 87 Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| Subject: Moments of Clarity Sun Sep 12, 2021 8:34 pm | |
| As I sat, strapped in my seat waiting during the countdown, one thought kept crossing my mind: every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. -John Glenn
America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real but the moon landing was faked. - David Letterman
I'm not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I'm a billionaire. - Howard Hughes
The only reason they say 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. -Jean Kerr
I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. -Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. - Emo Philips.
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. - Harrison Ford
Lawyers believe a man is innocent until proven broke. - Robin Hall
Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're a conqueror. - Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. - Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. - W. H. Auden
If life were fair Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. - Johnny Carson
I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical. - Arthur C Clarke
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. - Steve Martin
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante
America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. - Doug Hamwell
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. - George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport. - Jonathan Winters
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. - Robert Benchley
The weather person is the only person that I know, that can be wrong 99.9 % of the time and still have a job the next day. -Johnny Carson ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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