Funniest/Scariest moments in your life?

a few years back I was working for a welfare business psychologically testing youth for suitable employment opportunities. each assessment took approx 2 hrs and I had done two as lunch time approached. I finished the testing and discovered that the rest of the staff had gone off for lunch leaving me alone. I was somewhat annoyed and tired so took off myself after locking the building. I only lived two streets away and jumped into my 4X drive company van and that was the last I could remember until I awoke on my bed at home at 4pm!!

I remember having a dream testing people again and then slowly awoke to find myself in the kitchen and wondering what I was doing there. My wallet lay outside on a table exposed to all and sundry but still intact. I drove back to work and asked the coordinator "did we all finish at lunch today for some reason?" he replied "no we were wondering where you'd got too!" No one thought of coming to my house and having a look around!

sort of finished 30 mins work and then finished the day driving home again.

the following day a colleague explained that he had been driving past my house at late lunch time and so me doing press ups against my van. My DIL also said she had seen me driving home very quickly as if in a hurry!

after medical examination including MRI I received the diagnosis of transient global amnesia

a one off event  that has never occurred again!

have you got a story too??

WE had taken off from Heath Row to fly to Stuttgart airport for a sales meeting in Reutlingen Germany. Suddenly there was a series of loud bangs and sheets for flame shot out of the starboard engine.  The plane stayed level but started to drop rapidly.  In a second or two we could see all the buildings and traffic in London.  The other engine roared and the plane stopped falling.  We flew on very low for a few minutes before eventually we started to slowly climb.  The pilot came on and announced that it was obvious that we had lost an engine, and he had received permission to return to Heath Row. We landed and were instantly surrounded with emergency vehicles and fire engines as we taxied to a halt on the runway.  After a few minutes with no fire we were allowed to taxi in.  We parked up outside a lounge and could see the engines from the window.  The offending engine was just a black hole. They thought at first that the luggage bay door had come open and some luggage had gone through the engine.  This turned out not to be the case.  The engine had simply blown up and the force of the explosion caused the door to fly open.  All Boeing 737 of that series were withdrawn while the luggage door locks were reinforced.  We were given th option of a hotel for the night, or fly to Munich and be taken by bus to Stuttgart. We told the manager that we preferred to fly as if we thought about it overnight we might be too scared the next morning.  We had no luggage when we arrived, but the hotel fixed us up with toothbrushes and razors. It turned out that the plane had dropped from 2000 feet to less than 500 feet.  The pilot got a very loud round of applause as we touched down.

We once had some scary air turbulence but that's nothing compared to what happened to you Andsome. Since the incident didn't lead to anything awful, I did allow myself a bit of a smile at this part:

andsome wrote:

They thought at first that the luggage bay door had come open and some luggage had gone through the engine.  This turned out not to be the case.

I have a sexy brain

davo wrote:

after medical examination including MRI I received the diagnosis of transient global amnesia

a one off event  that has never occurred again!

I have experienced something similar on a weekly basis Davo but not for the same reason. I find happiness in downing some beers on a Friday afternoon. Up until a couple of years ago, this would be 3 pints of 5.2%vol. beer. I always walk back along the footpaths and canal bank afterwards. The next day, there were parts of that walk I just couldn't recall. I therefore know the feeling of amnesia but it was self-induced for me and probably not surprising. :)

These days, we have cut down to 2 pints of the same beer and now I can remember all the details of getting home.

Finding out just what my first wife was really like!!!

catgate wrote:

Finding out just what my first wife was really like!!!

I have to go back 45 years flying from Newcastle to Birmingham on an old Dan Air DC3 (Dakota)

It was winter, the plane started icing up and the captain had to make an emergency landing at Derby airport which at that time was a grass runway for small planes. The left undercarriage dug into the soft ground and collapsed causing the wing to dig in and swivel the plane round. 

All we could smell was petrol and we had to do an emergency exit. I exited through the door over the wing and jumped down - but being dark - I couldn't see the ground. I hit the ground and my teeth buried themselves into my knee cap. I have a scar to prove it.

My only other fright was in approx. 1992 flying from Philadelphia to Atlanta in an 8 seat private business twin prop Cessna. The pilot tried and failed to fly round a tornado storm and the plane was turned on its side and fell like a stone for what seemed like ages. I had a plan view of the ground from my side window. After a while the pilot managed to get control and we landed at a small airport north of Atlanta. We spent the night there and learned that worshippers were killed by the tornado in a church only 2 miles from a Marriot hotel we were due to stay at.

I have thus used up 2 of my 9 lives.

welcome back to planet earth Alan - but don't you think you are doing too much traveling for your own safety?

I go where management tells me - I am the epitome of the true and devoted henpecked husband.

Hence my life is full of danger - I thrive on it.

Your little tale of the Dan Air Dekota reminded me of a similar thing when I was travelling down to Heathrow from Leeds/Bradford one day.
Our company Head Office was in Slough and so it was possible to go to a meeting and return in the same day.
In those days Leeds/Bradford airport was little more than a couple of nissen huts and the planes came to the nissen huts for the passenger to climb onto  them. The planes were not pressurised because they did not go very high, but they went high enough for many people to suffer from ear pains due to this.
On the day I am referring to we were led out to the plane by the pilot...who just happened to be a small smartly attired woman who looked to be in her late 40s. It was quite a windy day and I hoped and prayed that she had had porridge for breakfast.
We took off quite nicely and seemed to make forward progress (albeit not very fast). The plane was flying forwards but was facing about 20 degrees left and I was sitting on a seat at the right hand side of the fuselage. As we approached Heathrow, and the runway, the plane was still at the same angle and I started to wonder if my heavenly star card was up to date.
Our pilot continued to let it fly pointing in this funny 20 degree angle but managed to make it fly along the centre of the runway until she decided it was time to put the wheels on the floor.
At this time there was an tremendous frightening roaring noise as the right hand engines were given the the word and they altered the angle of the flight just enough to pop the wheels down running along the runway in the normal direction and we stopped somewhere out in the airfield .
We were taken from the plane to the checkout by bus!
I believe there was a hand out of clean underwear but I never saw it.

when I was working here in the Kimberley I often traveled by small [6 seater] and larger 60 seater planes around the territory - 4 X drive would take too long for quick meetings or emergency work.

I once took a day trip paid for by her indoors for my birthday on a 5 seater cessna up to the horizontal falls and back. I arrived promptly at the small airfield next to the big international one and handed in my ticket and was told to walk to that plane other there with the young lady standing by in uniform. I greeted this slim attractive young lady of 21 [she told me later] "good morning" says I " where is the pilot?" " Good morning Sir" says she " I am the pilot" - I am sure she was used to  the looks of surprise from passengers. We had a beautiful flight all with our head gear on so that we could listen to commands and communicate. we only had one landing that day at a seaside resort at the top end and as we approached the tree covered terrain I was anxiously peering out looking for the runway - suddenly the trees parted and there it was - a sand runway and she made a perfect landing. We parked for scones, jam and cream and drinks [non-alcoholic] and I chatted to the pilot. She told me she had been flying light aircraft on her fathers farm over east since the age of 12 and was now of course a fully qualified and I can confirm competent pilot. On our way home as we hugged the coast line and the sun was beginning to set we were suddenly overtaken by a smart larger plane, probably 10 seater or thereabouts transporting miners on leave - jet propelled it soon left us behind with waves from both sides.

Flying back from Borneo in the sixties, after my three year stint of Jungle Warfare with President Sukarno's boys, we had taken off from Kuala Lumpur. In those day's very few Jet Airliners around. We were onboard a four engined propeller type plane which was owned by British Overseas Airways Corporation, BOAC. Grief, sounds like a lifetime away. Anyway we had managed to get to Columbo in Ceylon, as it was known in those day's. We put down for a two hour stop over for a meal, re-fuel and so on. When we took off, we had been air-bourn for about thirty minutes when the Captain made an announcement that he had to close down the inner port engine due to loss of oil pressure and we would be heading back to Columbo. Whilst on the ground I had noticed a rather strong wind from the South, and as the runway lay West to East I thought to myself this is going to be a bit hairy. The plane already had a bit of yaw on it as there where two engines on the Starboard side and one on the port side. Enough said. We approached the runway from the west after he had done a fly around and couldn't help but notice the yaw had increased. I suspect the wind was pushing on the tail-plane. Eventually we did land but it was one one of those landings that when the wheels touched down you were thrown sideways in your seat as the plane straightened up. No clean underwear was available as I recall.

another scary plane trip started with me and my boss driving for 5 hrs to get to a small bush town for meetings etc - unfortunately is was in the wet [cyclone] season and we couldn't drive back because of flooding.

SO - we booked on the next available 13 seater cessna back home. we arrived at the deserted airport having crawled through a fence to get in and then had our luggage and selves weighed by the pilot on a bathroom scales. eventually we boarded and took off - within minutes my boss tapped me on the shoulder and said " what's that gas coming out of the right wing?" I tapped the pilot on the shoulder as I was immediately behind and pointed it out " oh dear he said" that's all but circled and landed again.he did explain that it was leaking from the wing where it was stored. He rang base for advice then filled the tank in the wing and we took off again rather late now.

by this time everyone on board was alert and sure enough someone spotted fuel gassing out of the left wing this time. this was pointed out to the pilot who let rip with a superlative "Oh *****" circled around and landed again. this time he knew his error and refilled and we took off again. eventually all went well and it was a 2 hr trip back. I nodded off to sleep and suddenly heard a great banging and thought the engine was cracking up. I awoke and said :what the ***** is going on?" my boss assured me that the man in front of me had been having a violent coughing fit!

on board was a little catholic nun who had said nothing- we stopped halfway to pick up more passengers and got out to stretch our legs - she walked alongside me and asked " do you think he knows how to fly a plane?" YES i said I think he's a good pilot but doesn't know how to put petrol caps back on. the caps had very long threads which had to fit into a hole in the bottom of the wing which allowed the cap to be tightened correctly. when he called base they told him how to do it. turned out he didn't fly regularly and was a pilot trainer but there had been a shortage of staff and he had to fill in. FILL being the operative word.

Nothing really unusual about this tale - they happen all the time up at the top end and provide many hours of story telling around a camp fire!