Washing Machine Disaster

This is not a joke - but a true tale.  From time to time I exchange family news with one of my cousins who lives many miles away in Leeds - but we have an unwritten agreement always to write to each other in verse.

A couple of years ago my wife Libby had a disaster with the washing machine - here is an excerpt from the Email to my cousin. I trust it is self explanatory...

AN ODE TO RUINED TROUSERS

Libby did a load of washing - some towels, new dress, some blouses
I wish she’d not included - my very favourite trousers
I bet you think this tale of woe - is about dye running from her dress
And ruining my favourite trousers - making them a sorry mess
If so, your guess is very wrong - the disaster was much worse
So bad in fact that both of us - had a right good curse

Whilst she popped out to see some friends - she left the washer working
And when at last she got back home - a burning smell was lurking
She checked each room in the house - and couldn’t find the reason
Until she got the washing out - the sight was far from pleasing
Big holes burned in all the clothes - my trousers were no more
Her brand new dress was ruined - that she had hardly wore

But the washing it was wet - how could water burn ?
It all seemed quite impossible - so to an expert we did turn
The repair man came and tutted - he’d not seen this before
He examined the machine - and then gave us the score..........
“The solenoid valves gone wonky - the level switch is busted
The thermostat's completely dead - corroded up and rusted

They conspired to fail together - and the heater got red hot
With no water in the washing drum - which the level switch d’aint spot
The thermostat ignored it - the heater just glowed on
Until the clothes caught fire - and most of them were gone
But the rinse cycle worked - and put the burning out
That’s why the clothes were damp” - with pride the man did shout

“I can fix it good as new - but it will cost much money”
Levity at such a time - we didn’t find too funny
The moral of this sorry tale - stay home to do the washing
And make sure it fills with water - you can tell by sounds of splashing
And if your machine’s a Hotpoint - you better get it checked
If your new dress or hubbies trousers - are not to get quite wrecked.

yep there ya go can't trust a woman to do anything proper - not even supervising a washing machine - now what's simpler than that?