Just a little tale

A "lttle tale" for  Alanho (or anyone else who happens to be passing by)
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My first “motor car” was in fact a van. It was 1951. It was a green, Morris, very ex Post Office Telephones van, of early thirties vintage. It came into my possession in a very odd way in the early fifties.


I had lent a man £5 (for what I have forgotten) and after a few weeks I told him I thought it would be nice if he repaid me. He claimed he was unable to do so because “someone else” owed him £10. (Yes it is a bit odd...but then so was he.) He would try to see “someone else” that evening. On the morrow he came and asked if I would like to a take a little van in lieu of cash. I went and looked at it and thought that it was a very good deal if it ran properly and so I agreed.
Well it ran but not as well as I had hoped. It was not too bad on the level, and downhill, but any thing that looked slightly “upish” was a challenge. From the out set there was a slight “knocking” sound which was diagnosed as a faulty “big end” by a friend who, strangely enough, worked at the Royal Mail maintenance garage in town. Even stranger was the fact that they still had all the equipment for repairing worn big ends and a man who knew how to do it. My friend got the sump off and the piston and con. rod out from underneath, and the following day reappeared and refitted it. Wonderful service!! and just for “Thank you”.


After the first drive I realised that there was nothing wonderful about the rest of the van. From the outset I never went anywhere in it without a passenger. On one or two occasions the passenger had to jump out as the forward progress got slower and slower and get round the back to push. I remember one occasion when one pusher was insufficient and the only way we got to the top of the “hill” was by pulling the hand throttle/accelerator out to the full and then jumping out to push myself. Morris eight horse and two men power. The time had come.


I went back to my former debtor and explained the way it was, and the van went back to the vendor and he gave me back my five pounds.

On the subject of cars, perhaps I might add my little story.

After I left home, I shared a 1937 Austin 7 with my flatmate who drove buses for North Shore Transport . We named this superb piece of machinery “Fred Trundle”. After engine maintenance was carried out on the kitchen table of our rented house, and new piston rings were inserted we often travelled considerable distances in it. On one occasion we travelled to Waikaremoana on a successful deer hunting expedition where we succeeded in shooting two rather large stags. We were quite unable to get the carcases inside the small car, so we tied them, one over the bonnett and one over the boot. We must have been a strange sight as we trundled out of the forest on small, hilly, gravel roads for as we approached a steep hill whoever was not driving would leap out and push from behind  until we reached the summit, then would leap in awkwardly through the front ways opening door.  When we stopped in a small settlement for a drink of water , we were approached by a local who looked at our small car with it’s large load and asked how far we were going . We told him Auckland’s North Shore if we didn’t run out of petrol first. He thought about that and asked how much more petrol would we need. We thought he might be about to offer us some petrol but he said, “I’ll give you a pound for that one”, pointing to the deer on the bonnet.  In those days we were paying 2 shillings a gallon for petrol and we couldn’t get 10 gallons in our tank, so it was a very attractive offer which we accepted. With the weight of the largest deer off our poor little car, we no longer needed to get out and push, so it was a fairly relaxed trip back home.

My first was a six months old A35 van with only 6000 miles on the clock.  It served us well for several years.

My first car was a 1954 Standard 8 rust bucket.

It had no boot lid - you have to scramble from inside the car to put anything in the boot.

I cut my teeth on car maintenance with this one - a fellow engineering apprentice and I rebuilt the engine with new pistons, big ends, oil pump, water pump, dynamo and I forget what else.

Here are more details of my car history :-

https://1drv.ms/w/s!AsWeojYaF3XusDDLmzZv56tkmNlE

My second "car", several years later, was a Morgan three wheeler with a JAP engine, followed by a BSA three wheeler. (The in between year's transport had been motorcycles.)
These were supplanted by an Austin seven.
Our post man called one day as I was outside fiddling with a Royal Enfield 350 which was being "wilful" .
"I don't know why you mess about with these things when you could buy my Austin seven cheap",he said.
So I said that I did not know he had one to sell. He said he would be back home mid afternoon and I could walk down and inspect it (we lived in the same village).
I went and looked round it and it looked like a very tidy little runabout. How much did he want for it? "To you £2.10!"
I asked if he was serous because even for those days it was a ridiculously small sum. Less than scrap price.
So I became it's owner. It seemed to run very nicely and I could not comprehend why he parted with it for such a price..

One day very shortly after buying it I had been down the road to the next village, and the road was one of those nice smooth ones,with a slight downward incline. As I reached the incline I took my foot of the accelerator   and the car veered very slightly to the left. So I applied  a little bit of accelerator and it "veered" back to the "Straight Ahead" position. Another couple of repeats of this behaviour confirmed a fault, but I was rather puzzled about it's cause and at the same time realised why I had "got a bargain".

 When I got home I jacked it up,removed the wheels and dismantled the off side hub.When I pulled out the drive shaft I discovered that it had broken and the splined section that fits into the diff. had some how moved into the centre of the diff. itself and had "locked" the diff. This had resulted in the left hand rear wheel being in constant connection with the drive shaft and the right hand wheel was purely holding up the car.

In the next village was a coalman/scrap dealer who had a drive shaft and so, for a very little more than a "Thank you" , I had my Austin Seven up and running....properly.

I was lucky for 30 Years in that I had a new company car every two years

My Cars in order of appearance


Morris 8 van 193? Ex GPO Telephones. Came and went in a few days.
Morgan three wheeler 1929-34 came with 990sv Matchless engine,fitted a 1100ohv "Dog ear" JAP
BSA three wheeler 990sv 1934?
Austin 7 Ruby 1937
Talbot drop head 1938 Alum. body Hillman sv engine and Bendix brakes
Jowett Javlin 52
Ford Mk 1 consul 1954
Land Rover Ser 1 80" 12 hp 1952 proprietary hard top
Land Rover Ser 2 88" 1958 Station wagon top 2ltr diesel, fitted replacement 2.25ltr petrol
Land Rover Ser 1 LWB 1954 Truck cab. Bought minus engine, fitted Perkins P4
Morris Minor very early sv with split screen 1952?
Rover 105 S saloon 1953 (P4)
Scooter car 3 wheeler GRP Hunslet Engine Co. Villiers 197cc , fitted tuned kart cylinder
Mk 1Mini 1960
Mk 1 Mini 1964 had three "rebuilt" engines in it and did over 75000 miles whilst I had it (4 yrs)
Mk 1 Mini van 1964 converted to estate.
Mk2 Mini Bought new body shell and built it up from rebuilt spares, reg. as new. lasted 11 years.
Mini Gem Bought new GRP body shell and built it up from rebuilt spares. reg as new.
Marcos GT Bought 3mth old write off chassis and most of new body. reg. as new. Triumph Vitesse running gear
MK 1 Ford Capri 2 ltr Ghia auto(new) 78
Mk 3 Ford Cortina 2,3ltr Ghia auto (new)81
Vauxhall CD auto (new) 83
BMW 318i auto (new)86
Ugly Truck entirely home made chassis and body “Peugot ” eng/'box. Reg as “rebodied”
Mercedes 190D
Mercedes C220D
Mercedes C250TD auto estate
Kia Carens crap 2ltr diesel disaster
Mercedes A150 auto
Mercedes B180 auto


The “new” ones were company cars. A new company Managing Director (an American) decreed that all R & D managers of 50 years and over should be retired on full pension, and so I retired and took my BMW with me.

That is more Car's than Iv'e had hot dinners catgate.

Gandalph wrote:

That is more Car's than Iv'e had hot dinners catgate.

Well I suppose you could say that they were not all mine. Some of them were "management's". She needed one to go to work in, just as I did.
Also some of them were "home made" just for the  fun/amusement/satisfaction of doing so.
The Mk2 Mini, the Mini Gem, the Marcos GT, and the Ugly Truck particularly, were all built just for the fun of it. The ugly truck was built from scratch with no blueprint or drawings  at all.

Actually catgate - having seen a photo of the ugly truck - I reckon it was ahead of its time.

Tall wide vehicles with a boxy shape and sharp square lines to the bodywork are creeping back in fashion.

"Tall wide vehicles with a boxy shape and sharp square lines to the bodywork are creeping back in fashion."

I am led to believe that this particular example has gone to the Knackers Yard. A couple of weeks ago we went over to the "land of its birth" to visit our old neighbours and whilst there see if I could find out about it well being.I spoke to two or three people who said they remembered it but knew nothing about its present whereabouts. Then I found a chap who owned a local garage who knew of it but not its whereabouts. As we were talking into his office came one of his mechanics. The man asked his mechanic if he has seen it recently. "Yes I saw it a week or two ago on the back of a wagon going to the scrapyard." Sadly he never said which scrap yard.
I may do some more investigation.

Move on catgate - you are no longer in fit condition to take on the rebuild of an old and ugly knackered truck. Take up Leggo instead............

AlanHo wrote:

Move on catgate - you are no longer in fit condition to take on the rebuild of an old and ugly knackered truck. Take up Leggo instead............

Or twelve piece jigsaw puzzles.

You could lend him one of yours...............

You didn't manage to complete the last one you bought...

AlanHo wrote:

Move on catgate - you are no longer in fit condition to take on the rebuild of an old and ugly knackered truck. Take up  Leggo instead............

You have missed off ...ver .