wife jokes

While riding his old BSA, He swerved to avoid hitting a rabbit , lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging his head.

Dazed and confused He crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new sports car pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?"

He looked up, and noticed she was long and lean, she could have been a model.

"I'm okay I think," he replied as pulling his.self up to the side of the car to get a closer look.

She said, “Get in and I’ll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head.”

"That's nice of you," he answered, "but I don't think the wife will like me doing that!"

"Oh, come now, I’m a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."

Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, he agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure she won't like this."

We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, he thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better but I know the misses is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. I don't mind. By the way, where is she?"

"Still in the ditch with the bike, I guess."

Have they found her yet - I got to the end before I realised I'd seen that one before...

Like it Davo.

I was just about to go downstairs for breakfast when i heard a terrific sound and explosion from below, I ran down and saw the kitchen in a terrible state there was pot and pans all over the place, the window had been blown out and then I saw the wife laid on the floor covered from head to toe in boiling hot Porridge. I stood there transfixed in shock, I just could not think at all God what am i do, such a helpless, hopeless situation then suddenly I breathed a sigh of relief. I just remembered that Wetherspoons do an all day Breakfast...

good old weatherspoons always come to the rescue when you need them most! did you take the wife too??

No need to take the wife - she'd had her porridge for breakfast

This concerns both his wife wife and husband Patrick (so not an Irish joke) Bridie was busy ironing the cat when the Telephone rang and it was the Foreman calling from where Pat was working on a Road Mending contract "Bridie i have to tell you that Patrick has been knocked down with the Steamroller and has been taken to Hospital". She rushes there and tells the girl on the desk (I can't spell receptionist) I am Mrs. Patrick and I need to see him, what number ward is he in ?. The girl looks at her notes and says "Ah yes the Steamroller case, go straight on he is in Wards number Nine, Ten and Eleven"

deserves a chuckle heh lads!!

Moe than just a chuckle methinks

davo wrote:

good old weatherspoons always come to the rescue when you need them most!  did you take the wife too??

I certainly did not get my oats for quite some time

my wife is one permanent joke - anyone want permanent yokes??