Two members of the Conservatve Club where having their mid-day brandy snifters and cigars when one said "I say Charles, I saw your Bentley in the car park on the way in and it is in a terrible state. Its covered in mud, grass, tree branches and what looks like blood smeared across the front"
His Colleague replied "Well Rupert - I'm afraid I ran Jeremy Corbyn over this morning riding his bike"
"Good God man" replied Rupert "That explains all the blood - but why all the landscaping debris"
"Well you see old chap" replied Charles "the bastard tried to escape through the park"
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