todays students at a glance?

In response to the government's new education initiative, it is proposed that students will have to pass a test to be promoted to the next grade level. The new test will be called the 'First Arithmetic and Reading Test' or FART. All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in grades three, four and five until they are capable of passing a FART.

If a student does not successfully pass a FART by grade five, that student shall be placed in a separate English programme known as the 'Special Measures Easy Learning Language', or SMELL.

If, with this increased SMELL programme, the student cannot pass the required FART, he or she can still graduate to middle school by taking another course in 'Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation', or CRAP.

If by age 14, the student cannot FART, SMELL or CRAP, he or she can earn promotion in an intensive one-week seminar known as the 'Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students', or PRUNES.

It is the opinion of the Schools Inspectorate that an intensive week of PRUNES will almost certainly enable any student to FART, SMELL and CRAP.

In the long term, it is envisaged that this revised education initiative should help to clear the air.

I don't know about clearing the air davo. I think all the windows and doors will have to be opened.