Would you marry again?

 Would you marry again

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the Wife looks over at him and asks the question.....

 

WIFE:  "What would you do if I died? Would you get married Again?"

HUSBAND:  "Definitely not!

"WIFE:  "Why not? ... Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:  "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE:  "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND:  (makes audible groan)

WIFE:  "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND:  "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE:  "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND:  "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE:  "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND:  "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE:  Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND:  "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE:  "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND:  "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE:  "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND:  "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE:  "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND:  "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE:  -- silence --

HUSBAND:  "Shit."

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swaller. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly.

As I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."

I said..."This is the worst day of my life," "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I went home in. I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me.""So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

malcolm wrote:

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swaller. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly.

   As I burst into tears.  

   "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."

   I said..."This is the worst day of my life,"   "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I went home in. I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me.""So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all.

   I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

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