| | Tips and tricks |  |
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Mart
V.I.P Member
Posts : 2091
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 79
Location : South of England
| | Subject: Tips and tricks Sat May 27, 2017 6:09 pm | |
| Dry skin problems? Wear your clothes straight from the washing machine.
If you think you are watching too much television, watch it for at least two hours a day more. Then you can be sure you are.
Teach children the correct way to swear by making them wallpaper the lounge (especially around the window). It worked with mine.
:) |
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andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun May 28, 2017 8:04 am | |
| Like it.  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.  |
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Mart
V.I.P Member
Posts : 2091
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 79
Location : South of England
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun Jun 04, 2017 12:15 pm | |
| * Avoid junk mail and bills by installing another letter box some distance below the one already there. Connect the lower one to the upper one with a 'U' shaped chute. Imagine the postman's surprise and frustration as the letter he's trying to deliver keeps landing at his feet!
* What's the use of a disabled toilet? One that works is what's needed.
* If I was a world leader there's one place I'd never go. It's called Eggs Isle. Former presidents, world leaders etc., seem to die in Eggs Isle quite regularly. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun Jun 04, 2017 9:17 pm | |
| There is a lot of sense in these posts Signed Paddy.  ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure.  |
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Mart
V.I.P Member
Posts : 2091
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 79
Location : South of England
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:27 pm | |
| * Whilst walking along the High Street, be careful not to walk too close to the edge and fall off.
* If you have waited for ages at a crowded bar being ignored by the bar staff then, at last, they come to serve you tell them irately to "SHOVE OFF"! You don't get a drink but it's a very satisfying feeling.
* Never read the instructions for a new kettle. It shows a lack of intelligence if you do. Only when you have blown the kettle up should you read the instructions. |
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Goldie
Member
Posts : 1733
Join date : 2017-03-13
Location : Vale of Glamorgan
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sat Jun 17, 2017 2:35 pm | |
| Ha ha. Daft isn't it but true :;smile: |
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Purwell
V.I.P Member
Posts : 1098
Join date : 2017-03-19
Age : 76
Location : Hertfordshire UK
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sat Jun 17, 2017 3:38 pm | |
| Don't pick your nose when approaching a speed bump. |
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Goldie
Member
Posts : 1733
Join date : 2017-03-13
Location : Vale of Glamorgan
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:14 pm | |
| Don't wear your saddles in the rain. Wet feet  |
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davo
Senior Member
Posts : 3761
Join date : 2016-10-19
Location : OZ
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun Jun 18, 2017 12:44 pm | |
| I usually keep my saddles on the horse that way they don't get wet!! |
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Goldie
Member
Posts : 1733
Join date : 2017-03-13
Location : Vale of Glamorgan
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:37 pm | |
| - davo wrote:
- I usually keep my saddles on the horse that way they don't get wet!!
Should read the things you were on your feet |
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meerkat12
V.I.P Member
Posts : 2409
Join date : 2014-10-05
Location : South east England
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Sun Jun 18, 2017 3:57 pm | |
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Mart
V.I.P Member
Posts : 2091
Join date : 2017-03-13
Age : 79
Location : South of England
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Mon Jun 19, 2017 4:38 pm | |
| Doing either of these will make people look twice:
* When you are in a boat, fill a bowl or bucket full of water. Then throw it overboard bit by bit using a cup. This makes people think you are sinking.
* Take a pair of oars with you into the water until roughly waist deep. This makes people think your boat has sunk. |
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davo
Senior Member
Posts : 3761
Join date : 2016-10-19
Location : OZ
| | Subject: Re: Tips and tricks Tue Jun 20, 2017 2:17 am | |
| never turn your back on a falling star - your may collide and see many stars! |
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