I was a jolly font!

I wish I was a font

A happy happy font

Who started off quite small

But grew and grew so tall

 

Now how did I grow so tall

From being oh so small

Well someone pushed this button

And I turned into a glutton

 

I’m getting oh so big

And I can’t get help from ‘pig’

I want to be small once more

As me corns are oh so sore

Hello the pig is here
She's always pretty near
But ask her something hard
in the tones of an ancient bard
and you're asking all in vain
As Malcolm's the one with the brain.