andsome
V.I.P Member
Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
 | | Subject: Why there are so many Irish Jokes Tue Dec 22, 2015 1:14 pm | |
| - Quote :
- The reason there are so many Irish jokes is because the Irish have a quaint way with words
- Quote :
- Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery waiting room.
"I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate
to feel like this if I was well!"
Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics
He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects.
"He's got a great tan," Mrs Doolan from next door mused. "The holiday did him the world of good."
"And he looks so calm and serene," said Mrs McGuines
"That's because he died in his sleep." explained Mrs Murphy, "and he
doesn't know he's dead yet,but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him.
"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?"
"And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.
Paddy and Shamus were hitchhiking.
"It's best if we split up," said Paddy. "I will meet you in the next
city under the town hall clock".
Later that night Shamus was waiting at the appointed place when Paddy
drove up in a swank car.
"Where the hell did you get that?"
Paddy explained that he had just walked a little way when a beautiful
woman picked him up
She drove into the woods, got out and took all her clothes off.
"She said I could have anything I wanted, so I took the car," said Paddy.
"Good choice too," said Shamus. "You'd look ridiculous in her clothes."
- Quote :
- PADDY... "If you can guess how many chooks I have in my bag, you can
have both of them."
"Three," ? ... Suggested Shaun. - Quote :
- Paddy was coming through the customs at the airport carrying a large bottle.
"What have you there?" said a suspicious customs officer.
"Tis Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me", said Paddy.
The officer took the bottle and tried some. " Why it's Irish whiskey."
! He spluttered.
"Lord bless me."! Said Paddy, "another blooming miracle."
- Quote :
-
- Quote :
- On his way home one night, Paddy dropped into the pub.
The barman poured him a beer and asked if he wanted to be in a raffle.
"What's it for?" asked Paddy..
"It's for a poor widow with 13 kids." said the barman.
Paddy shook his head, "No good for me. I'd never be able to keep them."
----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.  |
|
sags
Ex-member
Posts : 1035
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Pork Chop Hill
| | Subject: Re: Why there are so many Irish Jokes Wed Dec 23, 2015 8:25 pm | |
| So un-PC! But good for a chuckle  |
|
