HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 

 govt tendering

Go down 
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 2283
Join date : 2016-10-19
Location : OZ

PostSubject: govt tendering   Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:04 am

I wish I could shake off this ring thing!!

Government Contractors
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street one from London , another from Bristol and the third, Liverpool.
They go with a government official to examine the wall.
The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'
The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew
and £100 profit for me.'
The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or figure but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700."
The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'
The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'
'Done!' replies the government official.

And that friend, ...... is how it all works.
Back to top Go down
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 7428
Join date : 2016-10-16
Location : Solihull

PostSubject: Re: govt tendering   Fri Aug 18, 2017 12:14 am

That my friend is an American joke that you have converted

The language is not the English we use here, we don't do bidding - we estimate or quote, We don't figure a job will run to - we calculate the work will cost etc. Furthermore, all prices in the UK tend to end in 99 pence - hence the contractor would quote £899.99 which seems much cheaper than £900.

That aside - its a funny joke, free from carrots and sexual content.

Congratulations - even andsome won't need to dip into his groan box.

This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour,  ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. whistle
Back to top Go down
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND

PostSubject: Re: govt tendering   Fri Aug 18, 2017 8:27 am

Like it.

Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.

Back to top Go down
Sponsored content

PostSubject: Re: govt tendering   

Back to top Go down
govt tendering
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» Tourism initiatives of Kerala Government
» Baby Peter - Petition for Public Inquiry - Govt Response!

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Murgatroyd's Drop-in centre and Forum :: Fun and Games :: Have a Laugh-
Jump to: