The Queen is visiting a military hospital. She enters one of the wards to chat to some of the patients and asks the first soldier who is lying on his stomach what is wrong with him.
Soldier : “Piles ma’am”
Queen : “Oh, they can be so painful – what treatment are they giving you”
Soldier : “Daily wire brush and TCP ma’am”
Queen : “Oh you poor man, it must be ripping your arse to bits, you are so brave – tell me what is your ambition”
Soldier : “To get better ma’am so I can return to my regiment and serve you and my Country”
The Queen then moved to the next bed where a soldier was lying on his back – she asks what is wrong with him.
Soldier : “I’ve been circumcised ma’am”
Queen : “Oh that must be really painful at your age – what treatment are you being given”
Soldier : “Daily wire brush and TCP ma’am”
Queen : “Oh you poor man, it must be shredding your penis, you are so brave – tell me what is your ambition”
Soldier : “To get better ma’am so I can return to my regiment and serve you and my Country”
Meanwhile the guy in the next bed is sitting watching what is going on – the queen bids him good-day and asks what is wrong with him.
“Laryngitis” croaks the soldier.
Queen : “And what are they treating it with”
“Daily wire brush and TCP ma’am” is the croaked reply
Queen : “Oh you poor man, it must be terrible, no wonder you can hardly speak, you are so brave – tell me what is your ambition”
“To be first with the wire brush and TCP ma’am”
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