Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.

A new priest at his first Mass was so scared he could hardly speak. After the service he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

 

"Fine, but next week it might help if you put a little vodka in your water to relax you", said the Monsignor.

 

The next week the new priest put vodka in his water and really kicked up a storm. After Mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done this time.

 

"Fine", he said, "but there are a few things you should get straight:

 

1) There are 10 Commandments, not 12,

 

2) There are 12 disciples, not 10,

 

3) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him,

 

4) We don't refer to Jesus Christ as the late JC,

 

5) Next Saturday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a Peter pulling contest at St Taffy's,

 

6) The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook.

 

7) Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he didn't pass water,

 

8) We do not refer to Judas as El Finko,

 

9) The Pope is consecrated not castrated, and we do not refer to him as the Godfather."

I think I prefer the pre corrected versions.