HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 

 Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.

Go down 
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 7428
Join date : 2016-10-16
Location : Solihull

PostSubject: Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.    Fri Jun 02, 2017 4:13 pm

A new priest at his first Mass was so scared he could hardly speak. After the service he asked the Monsignor how he had done.


"Fine, but next week it might help if you put a little vodka in your water to relax you", said the Monsignor.


The next week the new priest put vodka in his water and really kicked up a storm. After Mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done this time.


"Fine", he said, "but there are a few things you should get straight:


1) There are 10 Commandments, not 12,


2) There are 12 disciples, not 10,


3) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him,


4) We don't refer to Jesus Christ as the late JC,


5) Next Saturday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St Peters, not a Peter pulling contest at St Taffy's,


6) The Father, Son and Holy Ghost are not Big Daddy, Junior and the Spook.


7) Moses parted the water at the Red Sea, he didn't pass water,


8) We do not refer to Judas as El Finko,


9) The Pope is consecrated not castrated, and we do not refer to him as the Godfather."

This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour,  ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. whistle
Back to top Go down
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 1976
Join date : 2016-08-23
Age : 71
Location : Duns. Scottish Borders

PostSubject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.    Fri Jun 02, 2017 6:44 pm

drum drum

Nearly as good looking as andsome. 

Save a tree, eat a Beaver.

Albert Einstein: "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe".

Machine Specs:  iMac 27 with 5K Retina Display | Intel Core i7 with boost up to 4.2 GHz | 32 GB 1867 DDR3 SDRAM | 3 TB Fusion Drive | AMD Radeon R9 M395 with 2GB Video Memory |macOS High Sierra 10.13 | Apple iPad 4 16 MB iOS 10.3.3 | 16 GB Apple iPhone 4S iOS 9.3.5 |Apple 4th Generation TV with 64 GBytes.

Laptop: Novatech 15.4" | AMD Athlon 64 1.6 Ghz | 250 Gb Hard drive | 4 Gb DDR2 Ram | Windows 10 Pro 
Back to top Go down
V.I.P Member
V.I.P Member

Posts : 673
Join date : 2016-11-27
Age : 85
Location : Village near Pocklington.

PostSubject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.    Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:31 pm

I think I prefer the pre corrected versions.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content

PostSubject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.    

Back to top Go down
Today's Daft Joke - 02.06.2017.
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
» Justice: Leonor Cipriano's lawyer is going to request the annulment of today's court session
» "Missing People" go to Downing Street today - and guess who's "Missing"!!!
» Posh and Becks Joke Tops Edinburgh Poll
» Raymond McPhee Gets 12 Years at Edinburgh High Court Today
» Today's Daily Mail

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Murgatroyd's Drop-in centre and Forum :: Fun and Games :: Have a Laugh-
Jump to: