AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
 | | Subject: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. Sat Feb 18, 2017 8:34 pm | |
| The bartender was washing his glasses, and an elderly Irishman came in and with great difficulty, hoisted his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully, asked for a sip of Irish whiskey.
The Irishman looked down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?"
The bartender nodded and the Irishman told him to give Jesus an Irish whiskey also.
The next patron was an ailing Italian with a hunched back and slowness of movement. He shuffled up to the barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting down there.
The bartender nodded and the Italian said to give Him a glass of Chianti, also.
The third patron, a British deadbeat, swaggered in dragging his knuckles on the floor and hollered. "Barkeep, set me up a cold one. Hey, is that God`s Boy down there?"
The bartender nodded, and the deadbeat told him to give Jesus a cold one too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, and he got up and danced a jig to the door.
Jesus then touched the Italian and said, "For your kindness you are healed!" The Italian felt his back straighten and he raised his hands above his head and did a flip out the door.
As Jesus walked toward the British deadbeat, the deadbeat jumped back and exclaimed, "Don`t touch me, I’m drawing full disability benefit!" ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure.  |
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andsome
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Posts : 4525
Join date : 2014-09-24
Location : Burntwood in Staffordshie, ENGLAND
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. Sun Feb 19, 2017 8:45 am | |
| Typical of some.  ----------------------------------------- Gustav Mahler is the finest composer who ever lived.  |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:33 am | |
| Pity He is not around to cure your groanitis. ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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Guest
Guest
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. Sun Feb 19, 2017 10:41 am | |
| I'll bet it would happen with some of the people I know around here. |
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AlanHo
V.I.P Member
Posts : 8798
Join date : 2016-10-16
Age : 87
Location : Marston Green, Solihull
| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:30 pm | |
| They are everywhere ----------------------------------------- This post may contain controversial personal opinion, humour, ironic comment or sarcasm. If I have accidentally offended you - please contact me and I will unreservedly apologise. If however it was intentional - it will add to my pleasure. |
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| | Subject: Re: Today's Daft Joke - 19.02.2017. | |
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